The Index Supports Our Troops

TCU Supports
the Troops

1:45: Time remaing in OU-TCU game when The Index walked into the Navy
bar in Naples, Italy, OU with a first down on it’s own 30, trailing
17-10.

10: Hours of travel to that point in the Index’s return flight from a
deployment.

47: Total hours of unbroken travel (“travel” = on a flight or waiting
for one in an airport) that trip would eventually add up to.

2: Yards gained in OU’s ensuing four plays, ending the game.

2: Out of 2 trials, number of times the Index’s Playstation predicted
a TCU win on Blaine 06’s Dynasty mode.

7: OU rank prior to losing at home to TCU.

7: Rank of Baylor(!) when beat by TCU in 1960, the last time TCU beat
a team ranked that high.

63: Adrian Peterson rushing yards.

7: Adrian Peterson first-half rushing yards.

- hard to know what to make of that. How totally has OU imploded
after the SC game last year? They got Tulsa before the season gets
real.

<bold><bigger>Stat of the Week</bigger></bold>

6: Field goals by Clemson kicker Jad Dean (Jad Dean!) in 25-24 win
over Texas A&M.

2: Seconds remainng when he hit the 42-yard game winner.

5: Previous school record, held by Nelson Welch (Nelson Welch!).

3: Number of times Welch hit 5 in a game.

9:43: Time remaining when A&M coach Terry Franchoine passed up a 2pt
play that would have put A&M up by 3 (or 1) – arguably allowing Jade
to kick the winner 9:41 later.

3, 80: Plays and yards in that go-ahead drive.

3: Yards in third-down A&M failed to pick-up in 3-and-out possession
prior to Clemson’s game-winning final drive.

8: Consecutive carries by freshman running back James Davis on final
33-yard, 8-play drive to set up Jade’s winner.

4.7: Yards per carry for Davis on that final, four-minute drive.

(the Index chimes in: A&M had about ample chances to win that game
after Franchoine’s decision – their own three-and-out drive that could
have run out the clock and a third-and-4 where they failed to stop a
freshman running back)

<bold><bigger>98

</bigger></bold>98: Points scored in Wisconsin-Bowling Green game
(Wisc 56-42).

106: Points scored in only higher scoring Wisconsin home game
(Wisconsin 106, Wisconsin-Whitewater 0, in 1890). Write your own
Hillary joke.

258, 5: Yards and touchdowns rushed for by Brian Calhoun in his
Badger debut.

458: Yards passing for Bowling Green QB Omar Jacobs.

305: Jacobs first half total

4: Drops in second half – two for likely touchdowns – by BG’s top
receiver.

24: Yards rushing for BG tailback PJ Pope before leaving the game
with a sprained ankle suffered when he was hit from behind while
blocking on kick-off duty (!?!?!).

13: Point in leads held twice by Bowling Green.

35: Wisconsin points in 2nd quarter.

14: Total points scored in the final 41 seconds of the first half
(35-35).

1: Total yards of offense for Bowling Green in pivitol third quarter.

<bold><bigger>Game Everyone Is Wrong About, Part 1: Michigan-Notre
Dame

</bigger></bold>32: Total games between Notre Dame and Michigan
(18-13-1 UM).

411: Yards of offense allowed by Michigan in 33-17 win over Northern
Illinois in opener.

1: Fumbles lost by Northern Illinois in 2004.

4: Fumbles lost to Michigan.

148: Yards rushing for NIU’s Garrett Wolfe.

7: Points separating Notre Dame from a 2-loss season in 2004.

0: Sacks allowed by ND against Pitt.

5: ND sacks.

5: ND running backs with better than a 5-yard-per-carry average
against Pitt.

0: ND three-and-outs prior to 4th quarter.

<bold><bigger>Game Everyone Is Wrong About, Part 2: Ohio State-Texas</bigger></bold>

15: Questions posed to and not answered by Ohio State coach Jim
Tressel at weekly press conference about which of his quarterbacks
will play against Texas.

155: Passing yards for OSU’s Justin Zwick, starting for the first time
since being benched in the middle of 2004 after dropping three
straight Big 10 games.

500: Dollars accepted by OSU QB Troy Smith, who replaced Zwick and
went 4-1 as starter down the stretch, from an OSU booster, causing him
to be suspended for the opener.

135: Rushing yards for Texas freshman Jamaal Charles, the
highest-ever total for a UT running back in a debut, against
Louisianna-Lafayette.

21: Texas wins in its last 22 road games.

0: All-time Ohio State losses in home night games.

1990: Last Ohio State home non-conference loss.

0: Total games between Texas and Ohio State (also between Texas and
Michigan prior to last year’s Rose Bowl).

24: Age of OSU starting linebacker Anthony Schlegel, a transfer from
Air Force. Schlegel, who is married, is plays with AJ Hawk and Bobby
Carpenter, pretty much the only unit on the field where OSU has the
better players, and there its pretty close.

<bold><bigger>Again: Tennessee - Really?

</bigger></bold>12: Tennessee Yardline reached by visiting
Alabama-Birmingham, trailing UT 17-10 with less than four minutes
left. UAB QB Darrell Hackney overthrew his receiver in the endzone to
turn the ball over on downs.

86: Yards in UAB TD drive in the fourth to pull within 7.

274: Passing yards for Tenessee’s two QBs against UAB.

284: Passing yards for Hackney against Tennessee’s defense.

2: Tennessee’s pre-season ranking, according to Athlon.

<bold><bigger>USC</bigger></bold>

20: Consecutive weeks USC has been ranked #1 in the AP poll.

21: Record number of weeks, held by Miami.

74: Matt Leinart career TDs, USC record. Leinart broke Carson
Palmer’s mark of 72 somewhere in the blizzard of TDs against Hawaii.

46: Points USC is better than Hawaii.

34: Points USC was better than OU.

7: Points TCU was better than OU.

<bold><bigger>Quick Hits

</bigger></bold>

9: Sacks allowed by Miami against Florida State.

3: Field goals missed by Miami.

28: South Carolina rushing attempts against

32: South Carolina rushing yards.

56, 40, 31: Length of three Georgia scoring plays against Boise State.

6: First-half turnovers by Boise State QB Jared Zabransky, 4
interceptions, 2 fumbles.

2: Interceptions thrown in first two passing attempts.

3: Opening Boise State possessions that

5: Touchdown passes for Georgia’s DJ Shockley in three quarters.

105, 102: Yards receiving for Central Florida’s top 2 recievers.

79, 76: Yards receiving for Spurrier-coached South Carolina’s top 2
recievers.

10: Scoreless snaps inside USC’s 20 for UCF in the 4th quarter.

17: Consecutive passes completed by Florida’s Chris Leak against
Wyoming, a school record, en route to 320 yards in passing.

16: Previous record, held by… Steve Spurrier.

66: Yards in kickoff return for TD by Wyoming’s… Jovon Bouknight!

</fontfamily>

The Preseason Index - 2005

The Preseason Index
Talk-Myself-Out-Of-It Edition

5: Coaches departed from USC's 03-04 staff.
3:  Heisman trophy winners sculpted by Nation's undisputed best O-Co-ord, Norm Chow.  Gone.
33:  Age of his replacement.
85: Yards gained by OU's Adrian Peterson against USC's defensive line, coached by Ed Orgun.  Gone.
2: Departed All-Americans from that unit.
4:  Departed All-Americans from last year's Orange Bowl roster.
3:  USC red-ink rivals with new head coaches - ND, Stanford, Washington.  That's three killer games - including AT South Bend and AT Seattle, no less - with the other guy having the advantage of surprise.
2099, 1104: Yards passed and rushed for by Fresno State's returning QB and RB, who we picked up and shoved into what was an off week between Cal and UCLA.

Three-peats

9:  Back-to-back AP National Champs.
5:  Back-to-back champs since 1964, first year that the final AP poll was taken after the bowls.
0:  AP Three-peaters, any time frame.
0:  Ties and losses for would-be three-peater Alabama in 1966, who finished 11-0 and ranked #3.  Still ANOTHER vast injustice of history that would have FUBARed the BCS.

Notre Dame and Three-peats

3:  Number of times Notre Dame has ruined a potential three-peat.
1:  Of those three Notre Dame streak-stoppers, number accomplished on the field (ND beat Oklahoma, 7-0, in 1957 to prevent a Sooner three-peat; additionally, in 1980, ND beat two-time champ Alabama, but the Tide had already lost to Miss. St.)..
2:  Notre Dame "national championships" awarded in a year when a two-time defending champ finished the season undefeated (1966 Alabama 11-0, 1946 Army 9-0-1).
2, 9: Consecutive titles and wins for Notre Dame in 1948 when they met SC in the last game of the season.  SC tied the Irish, who then finished the year ranked #2 behind Michigan.  

1946, 1966, 1988: Notre Dame National Title seasons.  Lou broke the pattern by two years.  Otherwise, the Index would fold up shop right now.

There - i you're not convinced, fine.  I got two national titles hanging up there on three years of skepticism.  I've done my part.

Hook'Em

25:  2004 Reception by Texas' top returning wideout, David Thomas, the first time Texas' top receiver did not catch 40 since 1997.
6:  Cedric Benson's rank among NCAA all-time rushing leaders, who is now in the NFL..
1:  National rank of Auburn's defense last year, the co-ordinator of which, Gene Chizik, is now Texas' new defensive co-ordinator.
9:  Returning UT defensive starters.
1:  Returners not projected to start - linebacker Eric Hall, who is projected behind Eric Foreman - no word on whether his new status as starter will affect his relationship with Donna, or whether or not Red will stop calling him "dumb ass."  One thing's for sure - UT opponent's will be seeing a lot more of the Millenium Falcon.
11:  Oklahoma players lost to the NFL draft this year, not including Heisman winner Jason White.


00:  yards gained on kick returns in two years by Steve Breaston, the Braylon Edwards replacement at Michigan.
6: Defenisve starters back.
37:  Number of points, minumum, yielded by michigan's defense 3 times in their final 4 games of last season.
21:  Points surrendered, minumum, in three other games.
0:  Michigan opponents held to under 10 points in 2004.

Sunshine State

0, 0:  State-of-Florida teams in the AP's 2005 final Top 5 and Top 10.
14:  Consecutive prior years a State-of-Florida team finished in the Top
11:  Years during that streak that two State-of-Florida teams finished in the Top 5.
12:  Prior to 2002, consecutive years that two Florida teams finished in the Top 10
3:  Current consecutive years that two Florida teams have failed to finish in the Top 10.
2:  Florida State projected starters lost for 05 season:  Antonio Cromartie, one the country's best cornerbacks blew an ACL in spring drills; Wyatt Sexton, who you pro'ly heard about.
9:  Returning defensive starters for Miami, equaling Texas'.
7: Out of a possible 8, returning defensive linemen on Miami's two-deep.  And the only spot not spoken for appears to belong to Willie Wiliams - the 11-time loser recruit-explosion from two years ago.  Keep your eye on #17.
   But not worry....
5:  returning starters on offensive.
1:  returning skill position starters.
30:  Passing yards in 2004 for Miami's top returning QB, Kyle Wright.  And we've seen over the last two years how well larry Coker brings along new, young QBs.


Punt returns

25.6:  Nation's best yards-per-punt return for Ohio State's Ted Ginn in 2004, then a freshmen.
4:  Including Ginn, number of freshman in that list's Top 4.
3:  Number of nation's Top 12 punt returners not back this year.
2:  Miami punt returners in 2004's top 10 - Devon Hester (to my eye, the most frightening offensive player in the country last year) and Roscoe Parrish.
5:  Total number of punts returned for touchdowns by Miami's two returners in a combined 39 returns.
5:  Total number of punts returned for touchdowns by Hawaii's Chad Owens (one more than Ginn) in 36 returns.
0:  TDs scored on a punt return by Georgia's Thomas Flowers, also a freshman, the only punt returner in the nation's top 15 (he was 11th, just ahead of Bragg, just behind Bush) not to take one all the way back in 2004.
8:  In inches, distance between average Reggie Bush return for USC (15.67) to UCLA's Craig Bragg (15.00).
4002:  2004 Yards passing for Bowling Green's Omar Jacobs, just the gaudiest of the ridiculous numbers put up last year by the nation's top returning passer.  For instance....
8:  Games in which Jacobs threw 4 TDs.
462:  Passing attempts.
41:  TDs
4:  INTs
2:  Consecutive 1000-yard rushing seasons by BG running back PJ Pope.
9:  Games in which Bowling Green scored 40 or more points, including it's final 7.
5:  Games in which BG scored 50 or more.  They hung 70 on Temple.  Speaking of Temple....

Who Said Getting Booted From The Big East Would be a Bummer:
6:  BCS-conference opponents on Temple's schedule.  Every single one of these teams will be referred to with the modifying phrase, "..., who scheduled Temple this year" for the whole the 2005 season:  Arizona State, Wisconsin, Maryland, Miami, Clemson and Virginia.
0:  presumed share Temple will get of ACC bowl money, despite accounting for four wins among it's likely bowl participants.  Just friggin' pathetic.
28-9:  Combined records of Temple non-BCS opponents Navy, Toledo and Bowling Green.
4:  Team in the country - USC, Notre Dame, Michigan, Georgia - with inarguably more difficult schedules than Temple.  The Index will accept nominations on others, but don't expect much sympathy.  Pitts' close.     

UGA-Boise State - a terrific game I can't believe either school ever considered scheduling.  What's the connection?  What assistant AD and what coach's wife knew each other to make this game happen?  And when was the last time two teams met and neither school had ever played a single opponent from the other's state?  I haven't seen it and refuse to look it up, but I bet it's true here.
1:  Rank on 'big' scale among all game's "in Boise State's existence" of Sep 3 UGA-BSU game, according to BSU QB Jared Zabrensky (also, from same source, something called Scouts.com off Yahoo, this Bizarro-World line:  "Zabransky.. acknowledges that (UGA's) David Shockley is a QB much like himself" - first off, it's DJ Shockley.  Second off, that's a testable hypothesis!)
2927, 16:  Zabrinsky's 2004 passing yards total and passing TDs.
464, 4:  DJ Shockley's 2004 passing yards and passing TDs.
113,0:  Shockley's rushing and yards and TDs in 2004.
326, 13:  Z's rushing yards and TDs in 2004.
85:  Length of 1 Zabrinsky TD run.
147: 2004 QB rating for Z, third highest among returners (unless you count EVERYBODY, including Northern Illinois Marcus Perez, whose 2004 line was: 1 att, 1 comp, 61 yds, TD - then Z isn't even in the top 20).

Tennessee:  I Don't Get It.

2: Preseason ranking for this team on several services.  AP has 'em 3, behind USC and Texas.
0:  established stud QB or RB coming back and the #1 returning QB had shoulder surgery, yet still Athlon calls  UT's QB and RB the fourth and ninth best units in the nation - surreal.  Proven ability to lose big games, even - maybe especially - at home.
9:  Tennessee players with legal problems over the summer..
3:  Number of games started by a QB last year who chose to transfer this summer.
   And this team is going to run over the SEC-and-a-title game?  Really?

Quickies:

2: Big 12 players killed in the last month.Aaron O'Neal, missouri freshman linebacker collapsed and died at practice.  Vernon Grant, senior and 3 year starter in OSU's secondary, car crash.
1992:  In yards, South Carolina offensive production kicked off team or suspended for 2005 in the of combined careers of Demetris Summers and Cory Boyd.  Summers has been South Carolina's rushing leader for two yearsl Boyd was second on the team last year in both rushing and recieving yards.  Summers was kicked off the team, Boyd suspended for the year, both for rules violations.
42: Sacks absorbed by Houston QB Kevin Kalb last year, nation's highest total.
19:  interceptions thrown by UTEP's Jordan Palmer - Carson's brother - highest among all returning QBs (second in 2004).
0:  returning starters on Iowa's defensive line, the team picked to by many to win the the Big 10.
48:  Average point total in last 6 Michigan-Ohio State games, highest of the major rivalries.  OK, I only looked that one up and UCLA - but I bet it's the highest.  And even if it isn't - Michigan-Ohio State shootouts?  What?
3:  BCS Conferences with a title game this year - Big 12, SEC and ACC, putting one more hurdle in front of a team ranked 1 or 2.
And finally, the players and teams you'd be a flat idiot not to watch:
1 - Vince Young.  I wrote last year that Vince locked up the Heisman, Leinart be damned, in the Rose Bowl.  I still say it's his until OU beats him.  And even if OU does, it will be mesmerizing to see Greg Davis' method to piss away the best player of the decade (or at least this side of ThisU's Solider)..
2 - Brian Boehm and Louisville.  The only AP first-place vote that didn't go to USC or Texas went to L'Ville, clearly from somebody who knows something, mostly how to read a schedule.  First off, the same team that stopped Boise State's winning streak is now a lock for an undefeated season in the BCS-automatic Big East, so be the smart guy who's 'seen'em play 6 times' by the time they get there.  And all they need is some stumbles from your other hitters - see final item above - to get into the Rose Bowl, which they could win.  Absolutely as reasonable a scenerio as, say, Iowa (no. 3 in athlon - come on...).  On top of that, Boehm is a friggin' witch - as a freshman with maybe a half-dozen garbage snaps to his name, he came in at Miami and stared down ThisU's defense for an entire second half for all the marbles.  not his fault the D gave the game away.
3 - Chris Leak and Florida.  Of all the horrifying raise-the-dead projects around the country, here's your Frankenstien.  hilarious schedule - Wyoming and Louisianna Tech to open; maybe Temple was booked.  And hasn't Leak had that look in the huddle for the last two years that says, "I know guys, but that's what coach wants to run."  Now he's got Urban Meyer, most of the defense and plenty of tailback behind him.
4 - UCLA and Maurice Drew.  They Host Oklahoma September 17.  Then we'll see.
5 - Michigan, Chad Henne (QB) and Mike Hart (RB) - Both sophomores who started as freshmen.  I'd like to see that, tradition-soaked Michigan going Bob Stoops on people.  But then, that defense can't stop shit.  And, come to think of it, I'd like to see that too.

And finally, Thursday, Sep 1, ESPN 2.  Oregon - a loud, proud Pac 10 team (with a TERRIFYING Playstation playbook) - opens their season, and ours, with what I'm sure they believe to be a patsy-for-hire.
   Houston.
   AT Houston.
   On a Thursday night.

   You know what that means.

matt

The Other SC and Nebraska

111: Seasons, including 2005, that South Carolina has fielded a football team.
11: Returning South Carolina Football players arrested since the close of the 2004 season.
500: All-time wins.
507: All-time losses.
38,806: Attendence at USC spring game, Steve Spurrier’s first public coaching display.


4: Position on the Nebraska QB depth chart of Joe Dailey, last year’s starter.

SC

4: Returning starters who, according to the LA Times, might be academicaly ineligible, including wheelhouse-RB LenDale White and Steve Smith's personal Speed Bag.

And video games were involved. love it.

OU

170: Collective starts of OU offensive line that took the field against USC.
60: Approximate starts for current listed starter (actual depth chart not yet announced).
19: Letters in OU cornerback Chijioke Onyenegecha

More on OU:
Ivan Maisel: Head of the line

Archived - 2003 Bowl Games

Put up all 4 of my diaries of 2003's New Years and BCS games.

Highlights:
- Grossman and Florida-v-Navare and Michigan in, by far, the best bowl game of that year.
- The story about a guy named Mike Moran crumpling up an aluminium ashtray at Burger King and eating it on a dare.
- The unbroken awfulness of the Fox broadcast of Texas-LSU, which also was Chris Simms final game (and featured his - really - 1st touchdown pass in the Cotton Bowl).
- The Richt-v-Bowden match-up, featuring a Rix-less, and vastly outcoached Florida State playing two underqualified but fabulously exciting QBs against Georgia's D.
- USC, fresh off a then-bewildering late-season surge and utterly unexpected Carson Heisman, opening the Iowa game by giving up every inch of a 100-yard kickoff return... and then blowing Iowa away in every measurable way.
- Hot sluts TWICE.
- The dreary trainwreck of the Ohio State-Miami "national title" game, starring Willis McGahee's knee.

Ch- Ch- Ch- Check it out

4: Consecutive items added to Just White Noise, my personal blog, that involve (or at least invoke) college football. Topics:

Tommy Lee Jones' new, instantly forgetable movie, "Man of the House," which is vaguely about UT's football team.

College ball's only real rival for on-TV sports drama, the Westminster Dog Show.

Recruiting.

A delightfully ugly hat.

2005 US Army All-American Bowl

Somebody mentioned in an email that they had seen the Army All-American game in a bar. I can do you one better: I saw it on my couch.

9:08 – You’re looking LIVE at the AlamoDome, home to today’s “US Army All-American Bowl”, featuring 72 All-American high school football players, many of whom are going to announce their college choice today live, a fun way for each player to individually reinforce the game’s unspoken message to high schoolers: don’t join the army!
Accoring to Tom Lemming, a ‘recruiting guru’ and the color man today, USC’s current class isn’t in the top 10. Michigan is #1 with Tennessee #2.
9:11 – Maurice Wells becomes the first of our Future Soldiers-in-the-Kellen-Winslow-sense to declare his intentions for next year. The format for these declarations – which might be unique in all of TV - is that the kid is standing there surrounded by family, friends and hangers on, the sideline guy says, ‘tell us where you’re going,’ and then the guy reaches into a gym bag and pulls out the hat for his choice. Earlier they showed Adrian Peterson from a year ago picking OU. So Maurice Wells, a somewhat smallish, dreadlocked skinny kid who is apparently the top running back from the State of Florida, takes the Mic and throws out – minimum – 7 or 8 shout-outs: his neighborhood, his high school, several names like ‘li’ hank’ and ‘tyree’ and a woman named Jessica something. The sideline guy rips away the mic and tells him to get on with it – Ohio State.
Or rather, “Ohio State, baby.”
9:13 – Mark Sanchez, USC’s #1 QB recruit brings the West out. First play is a double reverse which goes nowhere. There are definetly some Matt Leinart related-program activities going on with this guy. Among other things, he has Leinart’s eyes and eyesbrows, Leinhart’s hair and Leinart’s general look of casual confusion.
9:14 – And here’s another: Sanchez drops the snap under center – maybe he IS the next Leinart. YES!!!
(pre-requisite on that joke is Leinart’s final offensive play of the season, a fumbled snap in garbage time against OU, but, really, it’s not a very good joke, so let’s discuss a better one, namely that that fumble was in the endzone and went for a safety, which cost USC two more points against OU and, evidently, three first-place votes in the final AP poll that instead went to Auburn. Sounds reasonable – with that safely, OU closed to within 36 of SC. Not exactly convincing, especially not when Auburn was taking apart Va Tech so badly that the Tigers had to milk 2 full minutes out of their last 3 snaps to avoid a punt that would have given Va Tech a look at winning the game. Hard to understand why it wasn’t a split title, in fact. Or Auburn’s outright)
9:15 – The East takes the field behind a QB named Paulus – who, rather than face the impossibility of living up to his name in the college football world, will instead play point guard for Duke, which, as an ugly white guy, he looks well qualified for.
9:20 – During a sideline interview, “Gametime” Raymond Henderson, a big ol’ boy, promises his college pick will “shock the nation.”
He picks Tennessee.
9:21 – The nation’s shock enters it’s second minute.
9:22 – Sanchez on first-down drops a perfect 30-odd yard pass into the arms of DeShaun Jackson who runs the rest of the way for a PERECT 68 yard TD. Just awesome, and both ends of that play are going to USC. Whoo hoo!
And the refs call it back for a – ready? – illegal man downfield. In an all-star game? Are you kidding?
Although in the ref’s defense, we’re all still a little shocked.
9:24 – I don’t know the names of either guy involved, but on the last snap, the West ran a run to the left, it was whistled dead mid-play and everybody pulled up except one East linebacker who went through a West tight end like wind through an open door. Shattering hit. If you haven’t seen a sports event in 10 years, you’ll be shocked to learn a fight nearly breaks out.
9:26 – Here are the rules: defenses must play 4-3, cannot blitz and 3rd and 4th down must be man to man. But let’s call back a 68yarder for a man downfield.
9:28 – West punts and it’s a FUMBLED SNAP!!!! However, the punter from Texas (“west” apparently stretches to Mississippi) booms it once he gets a handle on it. Clearly on the replay, he was baffled by the ridiculous gray-with-spiral-stripes Arena-league ball the game is being played with.
9:30 – Here’s a Big Ol’ White Boy with the biggest jaw on the field, Dan Doering, an O-lineman. He picks…. Iowa. This was the third guy to announce, all of whom (according to the helpful onscreen graphics) had Tennessee as a finalist. Shocking.
9:38 – Here’s a kicker named Zolton. Let’s see – 18 – that means born in ‘86. Were the 80s really so bad – really so soul-crushingly awful – that new parents of the day had to take it out on a generation? This isn’t new – watch the MTV reality show of your choice. Genesis, Ibis, Talan. Did Def Lepard really screw people up that badly? You think it’s funny now, but we’re 10 years away from having to deal with a population of adults named like infomercial exercise equipment. And Microsoft Word appears satisfies with the word ‘infomercial.’ Doom!
9:42 – Debut of Ryan Perilloux, Texas’ star QB recruit, and very definetly the owner of the best high school quarterback website on earth. He comes into the game and lays a beautiful 40-yard pass on a receiver, which gets knocked away by a defender but draws a flag for interference.
9:45 – Lemming calls Perilloux a “tuck-and-run” QB (that’s ‘black’ in recruit-speak). While Lemming is saying this, they show clips of Perilloux in high school throwing consecutive Pac 10-caliber 30-yard ropes, and he promptly does the same in our game, on top of the 40-yarder from a minute ago. Wonder if Greg Davis will get him to tuck and run that well.
9:46 – fumble!!!
9:47 – Time for another declaration!!!! Ryan Somebody, whose brother just enlisted in the army (there’s a wrenching social justice story in there somewhere) is going to “Iowa, baby!!!!”
That’s two for Iowa and three “Baby”s in four declarations.
9:51 - David Gettis, a tall receiver, is up. From Dorsey high (famous alum: Darryl Strawberry) in Los Angeles, Gettis has it narrowed to – can this be right? – Arizona State, Cal and… Baylor.
Huh? Pick Baylor, pick Baylor, PLEASE pick Baylo- BAYLOR!!!!!! YES!!!!
But… Really?
9:52 – Seriously – what’s going on here?
9:53 – Oh. He’s some sort of super-hurdler. Baylor for track. Got it.
9:54 – Ha!! A punt returner named House just had a moment. He caught the punt, when right, found nothing, came back left across the field and still had nothing. Obviously House and everybody else isn’t used to playing aganst guys as fast them but House pulls a classic – after he cut back across the field looking for a whole, no less than 4 West guys closed on him, without a single East guy within 15 yards, a situation House reacted to by giving the universal point-sign for ‘block him.’ Like who?
9:59 – Oh, wow. Honestly, one of the best things I’ve ever seen in a sports event. Taken in it’s total big-picture sense, probably one of my top 10 favorite sporting moments ever. Wow.
Let me lay out what just happened.
Sanchez, who in the small amount of time he’s getting here is clearly a complete stud, threw a lovely post pattern to DeSean Jackson, who, despite the terrible stuff I’m about to say about him, is clearly the best non-QB on the field.
So on a post pattern, Jackson’s defender fell down, leaving him all alone over the last 20 or so yards to endzone.
So… Jackson went for one of those head first dive-from-the-five-yardline things. Only two things.
One, he clearly couldn’t jump far enough because he put one of his hands down at the two and tried to convert the move into a cartwheel-into-the-endzone.
But that meant he had to put his other hand down as part of the cartwheel – the one carrying the football.
FUMBLE!!!!
Of course, he doesn’t think so.
After the play, he spends a minute taunting and celebrating and then comes over and starts yelling and pointing at the endzone as the refs stand there talking about how they are going to rule it.
Here is what they clearly have to do – the ball should be down at the 1, since he put the ball down there during the cartwheel and the ground can’t cause a fumble. I was hoping they’d rule it a turnover or touchback but clearly he was down.
Which is what the refs do – though they also tack on 15 yards for sportsmanship, which means a breakaway TD is now first and goal from the 16.
That was awesome.
10:02 – Sanchez pulls everybody out the fire by hitting some kid wide open for the TD.
10:06 – They just interviewed Kevin Jones, the Va Tech stud and this year’s NFL rookie rush leader. So coming back next year for the Eagles is Joey Harrington, who I still believe in, the NFL’s best sophomore RB in Jones, Roy Williams and Charles Rodgers, both of whom were hurt this year. Not a bad core.
10:08 – A KNEE!!! A giant lineman from Hampton, VA suffers a good, nasty, crippling knee. Not only can he not put weight on it, it hurts so bad he can’t even stand on his good leg and has to be carried. Sorry kid, but look at this way – when you get back, at least the schools who still want you will have a playoff.
10:13 – An east receiver named Rouse outjukes 3 guys on a slant but it gets called back for – ready? – illegal formation. Fans of income tax, near-beer and PG-13 movies everywhere rejoice.
10:18 – Purdue just pulled off the worst come-from-behind-to-tie in NCAA history. Sorry, different channel, but let’s discuss it:
With .9 seconds left on the clock and a tie game in overtime, Indiana Guy gets two free-throws. Makes one. Now, with .9 seconds left, NO WAY Purdue goes coast to coast for a winning shot, so you miss the freethrow right?
Nope – the guy does the ‘accidentally make it’ thing. Purdue can now run an inbounds play. The IU coach is going ape shit over it.
So IU doesn’t cover the inbounds which is REALLY bad but then when Purdue completes the Laetner-like fullcourt pass to Tall Purdue Guy under the other basket and he spins for an akward shot, Indiana FOULS him. The guy, obviously, makes the shot and now can go to the line and WIN the damn game.
And here’s the best part – the shot came after time expired and would not have counted but the FOUL foul came before time expired which meant he was allowed to finish the shot, regardless of the time.
So, quickly, IU’s mistakes – made the freethrow when missing would have sealed the game; didn’t cover the inbounds for a full-length pass; allowed the catch; fouled the shooter; did so in regulation to allow his late shot to count.
So Purdue steps to the line to win the game and… clank. Double OT. I’m quite sure it seems breathlessly exciting for everybody there, but come on…
10:19 – Back in the AlamoDome, a guy from Florida who missed his whole senior year is going to… Florida, “God willing.”
10:25 – Cool. West runs a reverse on a punt return, which gives two guys the chance to lay two savage downfield blocks and the play goes for 30 yards.
10:26 – Sanchez, back at QB, just misses Jackson deep.
10:28 – Sanchez hits a 39yarder to the Baylor guy with a perfect deep fade – don’t get used to it kid.
10:35 – During his declaration, a huge samoan linebacker lets his dad pull the hat out of the bag. Dad promptly puts it on his own head, and does so at such a pitched-up angle that you can’t see who it is. The kid, clearly pissed, rips it off dad’s head and, with a snarl at his dad says, “Southern California.” Sanchez runs in and hugs the guy.
10:41 – Sanchez, fresh off the TD and hug, gets handed some National Player of the Year award and he promptly thanks the Lord, the US Army, the city of San Antonio, his all star coach and the all star coach’s wife. Really.
That does it: Sanchez is the Next Big Thing.
10:43 – Cartwheel-King DeSean Jackson goes airborne to wrestle a would-be-interception away from the defensive back, completing a judo-type spin in midair to comedown with the ball. Best play of the game – and he deliberately, calmly hands the ball to the ref. Way to learn your lesson, young player!!!
10:44 – Perilloux hits another TD pass over the middle. Sanchez’s GOP-like image control aside, Perilloux is a dominant player. He’s 4 years better than the East’s defense and at least a couple past his own teammates.
11:01 – The West is up by about 200 points and Mandy just got up, so further updates may be sporadic.
11:06 – A player named Dayl Warley just picked Notre Dame. The sideline guy tries to get him to talk about the coaching change by saying, “say hello to your new coach.”
“Hey coach, HAAAAAAA!”
11:19 – Another Big ol’ White Boy is given some sort of Myoplex Strongest-Teenager-In-The-World award, and promptly picks OU.
11:50 – DeSean Jackson takes a double reverse and throws to Perriloux, who has snuck down into the endzone for still another TD.

That’s enough.

7 Thoughts On the BCS

Now that the BCS train has left the tracks and careened through theholiday-choked mall, I'm actually ecstatic. The disaster has come to pass and, for the second year in a row, I couldn't be happier. Yes, my conference got one of the worst shafts ever handed out, but really, watching the BCS fall apart, again, is getting to be my sports highlight of the year.a few thoughts I haven't seen elsewhere:


1 - The Hurricanes aren't in it, right? We can forget them for theyear, right? Nope. There's still a big fat reason in the middle of the BCS to hate them: had Miami lost to Louisville in what we can now officially call the game of the year, then Louisville would have bumped Texas which wouldhave put FOUR undefeated teams into the system (though probablysequesteredtogether in two games) and we'd have had TWO mid-major conferencesstealingBCS money. That would have been it - why would the BCS conferencesparticipate in a system that gives away 1/4 of their money to twonon-memberconferences? Instead, Miami pulled out a 41-38 game with two lateluckybreaks, and the spectre of a BCS renewal continues to hang around.
2 - USC-OU. Well, USC has beaten - barely - a team like OU (Cal). OUhasn't played anybody like SC - note even close - but the only teamsthathave had success with OU were entirely UNLIKE SC (Ok State and A&M,both ofwhom put 35 on OU, are centered around fast, running QBs - in bothgames, itlooked like OU simply didn't have enough guys to cover the QB, whichwon'tbe a problem against SC). And why isn't anybody talking about ReggieBush'snew favorite hobby, fumbling in key spots? He tried to give away notjustthe ball but the whole game TWICE on Saturday to UCLA (who finallyplayedwith courage after 2 years AWOL).
3 -Auburn. Hmmm... Well.... THEY PLAYED THE CITADEL!!!!! IAA!!!!Sorry.No sympathy, and no tolerance for any argument they got screwed. Mylongstanding policy has been a IAA game should be a BCS-standings loss,andthat's enough for me. You're OUT! The Citadel isn't the technicalreasonwhy they aren't in, but it's terrific karma. And besides, Va Tech isprobably a full tier better than the second best team in the SEC thisyear.If I was going to make one guess in this BCS, it would be VT overAuburn.The rest of the games I'm not touching.
4 -Sorry. It should have been Cal. Not by much, but it should have. I can think of reasons why it shouldn't be Texas - Kansas and OklahomaState,mostly. And then there's OU. But on the Cal side, the actual reasonCalisn't in is the worst reason of all - Southern Miss. Come on... Iwatchedat least half of that game. All we needed was Ron Franklin and a badrerunof Frasier to make a textbook Thursday upset game - a major team withallthe pressure rolling into a mythical Biggest Game In Campus History, toendthe season no less. Cal didn't play great, USM did and the refs (C-USAcrew) gave them every call, including a hideous, possibly prosecutableclipcall that wiped out a touchdown that would have made it a blowout. And did you see that blocked PAT? Cal blocked what would have beenago-ahead PAT for USM, then ran back the rebound for a 2-pt conversion(didn't we just discuss this recently?) to keep the lead. How manyteamsmake that play? So if you're telling me that Cal is out because of the Southern Missgame(which is what happened), then THAT is wrong. To penalize Cal for thatgame- a game in which a desperate, frenzied home dog fought to the deathandSTILL could not overcome Cal's better talent - is absurd. Anybody who changed their vote should lose their vote.
5 - The ABC guys - John Saunders and Craig James - should be fired fortheirtreatment of Urban Meyer during the BCS selection show. It's ahorriblepublicity stunt show with no value at all. ABC should be estatic tohave acoach on such an idiot show. Instead, after blowjob interviews withPeteCarrol and Stoops' O-Coordinator (with Mack Brown still to come in thestudio!), Saunders and James insulted Meyer about as badly as I've everseenan honest man insulted on live TV. Saunders first question, "Coach,defendyour right to be here." Really. That's what he said. Meyer, clearly stunned (I'm sure they told him the whole thing wouldbefluff), quickly said he didn't need to defend anybody and this was agreatday for Utah. Next Q: "Coach, will it be tough to coach Utah while recruiting forFlorida." Meyer, now back on his feet and pissed: "Today has nothing to dowithFLorida, today is about our Utah seniors blah blah blah." Then an easy one from Aaron Rodgers, then the three ABC guys gavethePitt coach an embarrassing, flipant 2 questions then back to Meyer. Saunders: "Coach, we have to ask this, is there something about thesituation at notre Dame that will make it hard for a coach to go thereandwin in the future." Meyer, now clearly livid: "This is not an appropriate place to talkabout Notre Dame." And he was absolutely right. the entire show was a non-news charade to present the non-event of who got in - they didn't even go to the botherofsetting up a hockey 'reveal' stage - and they had absolutely no rightto goafter Meyer like that. None. just awful.
6 -If i had to pick just one bowl to watch - BCS or other - I mightpickLouisville-Boise State. I've seen BSU probably 8 times now, and I'veneverbeen disappointed.
7 -Just how many times are they going to fuck the ROse Bowl? Thismakesabout 5. I gotta believe the Rose Bowl blows this up next year.

Go, Fight, Hell, Texas, Yeah

Bizaro World this week on The Index, two rivalrly games that, as tutorro put it to clooney, don't make no sense.

Louisiville-Cincinnati

INDEX STAT OF THE WEEK!

70: Louisville point total.
15: Louisville passing attempts. Read that again.

83: Points scored in 2003 Louisville-Cincinnati rivalry game.
3: Louisville winning margin, 2003.
77: Points scored in 2004 game.
63: Louisville winning margin, 2004.

16: Minutes remaining in 2004 game when Louisville took a 63-0 lead.
47: Minutes remaining in the game when Louisville starting QB Stephen Lafors took his last snap, replaced for the remainer of the game by freshman QB Brian Boehm.
10: Minutes remaining when Cincinnati achieved 100 yards in total offense (2 yds/min).
3: Blocked punts for Louisville.

55: Minimum points scored by Louisville in each of last five games.

Texas-Texas A&M

61: Words in “Texas Fight” (UT fight song)
25: Lyrics accounted for by “Texas” and “Fight”
51: Percent of “Texas Fight” lyrics accounted for by five words (in order of frequency)– Go, Fight, Hell, Texas, Yeah.

88: Yards Texas drove against A&M's defense twice.

1: A&M yard line both 88-yard drives reached.

2: Tds scored on next play.

0: Total point advantage for Texas resulting from both drives.

99.9: Yards in A&M fumble return to take lead with 30 seconds left in first half.

1: A&M yard line Texas was on when Texas QB Vince Young inexplicably attempted to - what's the word? Lay up? Palm? - the ball over the stack of linemen on the goalline. He was stuffed by A&M's line but decided to extend the ball - like a one-handed lay-up - over the stack in an attempt to break the plane. Instead, it was easily knocked from his hand, bounced down the line of scrimmage and was picked up by A&M LB Justin Warren, who ran unchallenged the length of the field for the go ahead TD.

From a 7-point deficit on their own 1-yard line to a returned fumble and 7-point lead in one snap.

All with less than 30 seconds to halftime.

And the key question is: what was Young thinking?

2: Rank of that play among "Weird Plays in That Endzone."

1: Points in safety credited to Texas in 3rd quarter on the new "World Champion Weirdest Football Play I've Ever Seen."

Texas lined up for a PAT and missed (the 4th consecutive missed kick in the game). The snapper fumbled it, which caused the kicker to boot the unset ball directly into the line (at this point, by one reading of the rules, the play should have been dead, but like the Carpenters, we've only just begun). At this point, according to the referees (but lost to TV replays), an A&M player caught/picked up the ball and tried to return it (which is very legal, and if the defense can return such a fumble to the opposite endzone, they get two points, a possibility which- tangentialy - produced the previous Grand Champion Wierdest Football Play I Ever Saw prior to this one when Furman beat Applachian State by 1 point after just such a play). But whoever the A&M guy was who got the ball, he then fumbled it, and it dribbled into the endzone, where another A&M player jumped on it. Now, in football talk: A&M (1) gained possession (after the kick), then was (2) tackled with possession in the endzone - which is actually the definition of a safety (and if you think about it, the whole play is a close cousin to the always-hilarious moment when a kick returner takes the kickoff in the endzone, brings it out a step or two and then thinks better of it and steps back into the endzone thinking he's getting a touchback, only- wait for it! - the ball is still live since he brought it out so he gets drilled by the coverage for a safety. Ha ha). So that should have been 2 points for Texas... but wasn't. As ABC finally posted in the last minutes of the game, there is a rule tucked away in the NCAA football rule book that says that a safety on an extra point attempt is worth only 1 point.

All of which ignores the central idea that Texas missed its extra-point attempt, while all A&M did was chase down a loose ball- and Texas still got a point out of the deal.

And consider: in a real safety, if the team being tackled didn't have the ball, it would be a touchdown for the other team, right? Obviously not the case here, since UT would not have been awarded a TD had they recovered the ball. So, WTF?

13: Winning margin for Texas, thank goodness, which makes it moot.

147: Rushing yards for Cedric Benson, every inch of which came the hard way. I've not been a regular observer of Cedric for his career, and every game I've ever seen seemed to follow this sequence: (1) Cedric gets stacked up 5 times at the line (unimpressive) then (2) peels off a run up the sideline untouched (impressive but only in the 'he's fast' sense).
Benson was tougher than rent against A&M. He had a fourth down - fourth down - pickup early in the game that let you know A&M might as well pack it in right there. He took a quick pass over the middle, 4 yards short of the 1st down, spun out of one tackled, planted his arm on the ground for balance, popped back up to see 3 defenders between him and the must-have yardline and proceeded to run directly into all three, carrying them all a yard past the line. Ol' Cedric, who scored 5 Tds in the Ok State comeback, can play.

Rivalry Week Index

9:02: In the AM (PST), kick-off for Boise State-San Jose State, the earliest local-time kickoff in NCAA I-A history.
15: Tds in game.
15: Successful PATs. I’d be interested to see the last time two kickers put together such a hefty number.
1: Missed field goals, each.
1: Fumbles and interceptions, each.
3: Offensive drives, each, in the fourth quarter that gained zero or less yards.

20: Seconds into Miami/NC State game that devin Hester took the opening kickoff back for a touchdown. It started what was a long night, and not just for NC State.
2: Hester kick return TDs.
32: Real minutes required to play game’s first 5 minutes.
38: Real minutes required for Miami to take it’s 3rd offensive snap.
10: Real Minutes required for first-half’s final 32 seconds.
121: Real Minutes, kickoff to halftime.

4: Consecutive home wins for Missippippi State over Florida.

Only See It Here Stat of the Week:
9.5: Yards/passing attempt for Utah’s Alex Smith.
8.9: Yards/passing attempt for BSU’s Jared Zabransky.
1, 4: Relative rank, nationally, of those numbers among all Qbs with more than 200 passing attempts.
8.6: Jason White’s Y/A, highest among BCS-conference starters. The only other BCS starter over 8.0 is Florida’s Chris Leak.

Only See It Here Stat II
3, 4: National Rank of BSU and Utah in First downs/game (26.2, 25.4).
7, T-8: National rank, same stat, of Cal, OU and Texas, the highest rank of any BCS conference teams (24.1, T-23.6)
2: Positions above LAST in D-1A, same stat, Ohio State (14.9)(!)

2: Wake Forest (4-5, 1-5) games decided by more than 7 points this year (both wins).
2: Wake Forest overtime losses.
7,3,7: Losing margin in other three losses.
Wake is at Miami this weekend.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Index Introduces… The Quiz
- Passing this week: 4/6-percent.

1. Utah or Boise State?
A) Boise State
a. 1: National rank, points per game.
b. 20: Winning streak, nation’s longest.
c. 24: Home winning streak, nation’s longest.
d. 247: Yards passing needed by Hawaii’s Timmy Chang against BSU for all-time NCAA passing record.
e. 227: Yards Chang gained against BSU.
f. 3: Change interceptions against BSU, putting #1 on THAT NCAA all-time list.
g. 3: Hawaii points, Chang’s career low.
h. 3: Teams BSU has played that were ranked when they met or are ranked now.
i. 19: Winning margin over Oregon State, one week after OSU all-but-beat defending National Champ LSU.
j. 4: Games in which Boise State has scored over 50.
k. 2: Over 60.
B) Utah
a. 30: Winning margin over UNC, the team that went on to hand Miami it’s first loss.
b. 20: Winning margin over Texas A&M, who came within a Jason White-legacy moment of knocking off OU;
c. 67: Total winning margin over 3 BCS-conference teams
d. 3: Games Utah has scored over 50.
e. 2: Over 60.
C) Not Boise State
a. 2: Field goals Boise has lined up against in the last minute that would have beat them (BYU missed and Boise blocked San Jose State’s kick to force OT);
b. 3: games won by 1 point, 3 points and double OT.
D) Not Utah… cuz it’s Boise State.

2. Michigan-Ohio State or USC-UCLA?
A) Michigan-Ohio State
a. 3: Undefeated Ohio State teams in the 1990s that lost to Michigan.
b. 2: Ohio State’s BCS rank last year before losing huge to Michigan (a stat that, though I’m sure painful to Ohio State fans, is mostly reflective of how awful the BCS system is)
c. 3: Major offensive categories in which a Michigan player is either #1 or #2 in the Big 10 – Rushing (Mike Hart, #1, 1300+ yards; receiving, Braylon Edwards, #1, 1049; QB Chad Henne, #2 QB Rating).
d. 1: Ohio State players in the top 10 of any of those categories (receiving yards, Santonio Holmes, #5)
B) USC-UCLA?
a. 31.6: UCLA’s points per game.
b. 6.7: Yards per carry for UCLA’s Maurice Drew, 3rd best average in the country, behind Cal’s JJ Arrington and Bama’s Ray Hudson (both 6.9).
c. 7.4: Yards per attempt for UCLA’s Drew Olsen (comparison: Rodgers 8.5; Jason White 8.6
d. 16: National rank of UCLA, rushing yards per game.
e. 17: National rank, for comparison, of Oklahoma.
f. 0: from the above carefully slanted items, team stats that surpass USC’s own rankings or individual stats that surpass individual stats of previous USC opponents.

3. ‘Bama or Auburn?
A) Bama
a. 2: National rank, total defense, by a lot (‘Bama holds opponents to 229.5 yds game; LSU is next at 249.8).
b. 1: National rank, passing defense, by a lot (105.8 yds/gm; NC State is next at 119.9 – Bama also holds opponents to 8.2 completions per game; nobody else is under 10)
c. 1042: Rushing yards for Alabama sophomore Kenneth Darby.
d. 4: Total starts
e. 71: Darby carries in the last two games.

B) Auburn
a. 1: National rank, scoring defense, by a lot (9.6 points per game – USC is next at 11.6).
b. 4, 5: Rank among SEC rushing leaders of Carnell Williams and Ronnie Brown.

4. Texas or A&M?
A) A&M
a. 1: Points by which A&M lost to 1-6 (3-7) Baylor.
b. 35: Points A&M promptly went out and dropped on Oklahoma in a Game of Year Finalist.
c. 2: A&M touchdowns on fake kicks.
d. 8.6: Reggie McNeal’s Yds/attempt, tied with Jason White for #1 in the Big 12 (over 200 attempts)
B) Texas
a. 18: Yards in fourth-down, do-or-die scramble Vincent Young had to make to keep alive a drive to beat 1-6 (3-7) Kansas. Plus the pass interference thing.
b. 49: Unanswered points scored against Ok. State to turn a 35-7 blowout into a 56-35… blowout.
c. 5, 4: Cedric Benson touchdowns in that game and defenders he carried across the line to get the fifth.
d. 1: Benson’s national rank in attempts (270) and touchdowns (18).
e. 3: Rank in Yds/gm (159).

5. Best College Rivalry of All Time?
A) No such thing.
B) Indiana-SC swimming
a. 14: Consecutive years (1964 to 1977) in which either USC or Indiana won the NCAA Swimming Championship.
b. 9: Years in which the other was the runner-up. With the same 2 coaches.
C) There is no C. It’s either the swimming thing, or admit the absurdity of the question.

Did Auburn just peak?
A) No.
a. 57: Minutes Auburn’s defense held UGA scoreless.
b. 1: Auburn interceptions of David Green.
c. 2: Total interceptions thrown by David Green this year.
d. 3: Minutes UGA’s star receiver lay on the groud unconscious after taking a lick coming across Auburn’s middle.
B) Yes.
a. 3: Auburn opponents, to date, with winning records.
b. 3: Consecutive above-.500 opponents Auburn closes with– ‘Bama (see above), Tennessee in a (gasp!) rematch and a bowl.
c. 3: Of the remaining, on the road.
d. 7: Second half points against UGA.
e. Quotes from after UGA:
i. Tuberville: ``One thing I'd say: I'd hate to play us,''
ii. Carnell Williams: “It’s going to be hard not to vote for us.”
iii. Reggie Brown: “We’re for real.”
iv. Tuberville on Williams and Brown: ``Awesome. You can't defense them. You just can't do it.”

ANSWER KEY:
1 - It won’t matter. The BCS will find a way to skip them both.
2 – Neither. Cal, Purdue, Oregon, ASU, Minnesota and, yes, UCLA and Ohio State: Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.
3 – Over/under is 9.5, for both points and dead linemen. You basic purist's dream.
4 - 20: Electoral votes for Ohio, the fates of whom were felt nowhere more viscerally than on the campus’ that hold the Presidential papers of Lyndon Johnson and George H.W. Bush. That’s a small, not entirely fair metaphor, but because of it and a thousand other reasons, I firmly believe that of all the games in the all the land, these two schools hate each other the most.
5 – See C.
6 – Kinda sounds like it, don’t it?

PS – Heisman votes went out this week. It’s still Aaron Rodgers’ ‘til somebody takes it away.

Late But Aways On Time

It finally happened. I cliked on an ad banner. How
could you not?
http://www.collegefootballgameday.com/SendVoicemail.aspx

just about everybody reading this would be getting one
of these voicemails if I didn’t think I was setting
you up for a life of marketing calls. I won’t do that
too you, but not because of my respect for you – I
just hate marketers more than I like the idea of
sticking you with them.

Here are some startling numbers for Texas
154.2: Avg yards passing allowed by UT defense.
154.8: Avg yards rushing allowed by UT defense.
And for the Horns…
148.7: Avg yards passing for UT’s O.
- What that means: Texas allows more rushing than
they pass for. Uh oh.

447: Avg passing yards for Texas Tech.

So… THE LINE:
5.5: Created by the Rabbi, and endorsed by the Index,
the line is the over/under on the factor by which
Tech’s passing yards will exceed UT’s. So if Vincent
Younge and company pass for 100 (seems about right,
since they're getting worse), then Tech will have to
pass for better than 550 to beat The Line. Have fun
with that.

Worst Game Of The Year, 2004
5: Rutgers turnovers against Temple in their Annual
Sorriest Game Possible, though The scarlet knights
still won, 16-6. The game’s sole touchdown came in
the last three minutes.

Best Game Of The Year Nominee, 2004
2: Excessive celebration penalities drawn by
Louisville during game with Miami – talk about
tempting karma.
49: Seconds remaining when Miami’s Frank Gore pushed
in from the one to put Miami up 41-38.
1: Losses, all-time, in Louisville’s back-up QB Brian
Brohm’s football career. He was the 3-time MVP of the
Kentucky State Champioship game before coming to
Louisville.
80: Yards in drive Bohm led Louisville in the 4th to
take a 38-34 lead.
97: Yards, in two drives, that Brohm put up against
Miami. He was only in because Louisville’s starter -
Stefan LeFors (3 Tds) - was out with a concussion,
which means non-BCS eligible Louisville demonstrated
that they have two QBs capable of shredding the
defense of the team the BCS computers seem to think is
the second best in the country. BLOW IT UP!!!!
I just decided. Not only is the
Poll-That-Will-Not-Be-Mentioned banished from the
Index, but so is the BCS rankings. It won’t be
discussed from here on.
2: Plays that Louisville failed to make in its own
redzone in the final 2 minutes that would have won the
game – DB Kerry Rhodes dropped a sure-game INT thrown
right at him and two plays later Miami’s Brock Berlin
hit Darnell Jenkins to convert a 4th-and-4. That put
Miami at the 8, Louisville deflated and Gore ran it in
easily 2 plays later.
6: Consecutive possessions No 4. – No. 4 - Miami
scored on in the second half to barely – barely – eek
out that win at home.
1: National rank of defense of Miami’s next opponent,
NC State – who, at 4-2, is 4th in “others receiving
votes.” Come on… Florida State is 5th, and NC State
is 29th?
28: Players on NC State’s roster from Florida.
16: Players from the Miami area. As you may recall,
NC State coach Chuck Amato, prior to taking ove NC
State, was the O-Coordinator at FSU (back when they
were still FSU). He was also the Seminoles’
recruiting co-ordinator for south Florida/Miami.
91: Total yards allowed last week to Maryland – an
effort captured, by coincidence, from the Maryland
side on ESPN’s the Season. NC State’s D is for real.


14,000: Avg home game attendence at Middle Tennessee
State.
15,000: Neccesary attendence to stay D1A. As a
result, MTS has scheduled a FREE Big Boi concert after
this week’s Idaho game – you have to go to the game to
see Big Boi. I can’t think of a better way to insult
your team.

3: Minimum number of undefeated teams Kirk Herbstriet
implied this week that are destined to finish the year
undefeated.
2: Number of times in 20 years that many have done
so.
5: Currently undefeated BCS-conference teams- SC, OU,
Auburn, Wisconsin, Miami.
2: Current undefeated teams in non-BCS conference
that Herbstriet didn’t even mention, ie Boise State
and Utah.
5: Teams whose undefeated streak came to end last
week – Louisville, ASU, Purdue, UVA, Southern Miss.
There may have been some more, but I can't believe it
mattered.

5: Total points by which Boise State (6-0) won two of
it’s games – 2, at home, over BYU (whose kicker hooked
a game-winner at the buzzer after laying 2 of the 3
best hits of the year) and 3 over Tulsa.
1, 2: Despite Boise State kick, rank nationally of
BYU's kicker's hits on Boise State's punt returners on
two seperate, equally staggering open-field tackles.
2: Losses by for Fresno State, who was projected to
be unbeaten at this point.
60: Total points BSU has beaten Fresno State by in
the last two years. The teams meet this weekend in
what still promises to be a terrific game.
200: Fresno St.’s avg rushing yards per game.
3: BSU’s national rank in rush defense.

UPSET SPECIAL
197: Yards rushing last week for Alabama’s Kenneth
Darby to lead Alabama past previously-undefeated,
defending C-USA champ, No. 24 Southern Mississippi,
27-3.
2: Years since Bama beat a ranked team.
60 Million: In dollars that two ex-Bama coaches are
seeking from the NCAA after they were fired stemming
from an NCAA investigation of Bama – an investigation
fanned by Fulmer, who fed the NCAA info on Bama’s
program. The coaches maintain Fulmer fed the NCAA
info so they would overlook violations at Tennessee –
including an accusation of sexual harassment over
Peyton Manning mooning a female trainer.

114: Total yards in two – two – field goals (60 and
54) kicked by Colorado’s Mason Crosby to beat Iowa
State, 19-14.

SC Honk Of The Week:
4: Undefeated BCS-conference teams USC handed their
first loss (OK, it’s a stretch - ASU, Cal, Stanford
are legit. It was VaTech’s first game).
18-2: Combined CURRENT record of those four teams, not
counting the SC results.
5: Washington losses, who USC’s faces this weekend.
2: Games in which Virginia Tech has shut out an
opponent while scoring at least 60.
2: VT losses – USC and, at home to ‘unranked’ NC
State. Good luck, Miami!

Index Week 7

360: Degrees in backflip executed by Michigan's Braylon Edwards in the Michigan backfield after the final kneedown against Minnesota. Michigan had just scored a - well, let's use the word - fluke TD to beat Minnesota, 27-24, in Saturday's first. A perfect outburst of joy as one of the nation's best 5 players was momentarily reduced to the poise of a benchwarming freshman by the enormity of what he'd just seen. The perfect way to start what quickly became college football's best weekend since 2001.
6: Games last Saturday between Top 25 teams.
4: Of those, games whose final two minutes saw one offense throwing into the opponent's endzone for the win. LSU and Michigan made good, coming back to beat Florida and Minnesota by 3 each, while Cal and Georgia saw win-or-lose passes fall into the endzone incomplete.
58.5: Average number of seconds remaining when decisive pass thrown in those games- Michigan scored on a 31 yard slant with 2:10 left, Cal's Aaron Rodger's missed a fourth-down pass in the endzone pass with 76 seconds to go, LSU's Marcus Randall finished a brilliant length-of-the-field drive with a short TD pass at Florida with 27 seconds to go and UGA's David Greene snapped the ball for a desperate heave into the endzone with exactly 1 second showing.
Not bad.
219: Yards by which Cal's O outgained SC's, 465-219, probably the weekend's most quoted stat behind Aaron Rodger's insane personal numbers (leading to headlines like "California dominates all but final score" in that notorious anti-SC rag... the Daily Trojan) Or if you prefer...
28: Cal first downs.
12: SC first downs. OK, we get it.
102: Yards by which Cal outgained SC including kick returns, 472-370, a much more representative number of how the game went. SC didn't go as far, but SC didn't need to. Now, as Chingy might put it forget wha'cha hurd'bout Aaron Rodgers. Here's his key number.
33: Consecutive Throws by Rodgers that went exactly where he wanted them - 29 to receivers for completions, 2 intentionally out of bounds, 2 just-as-important crossfield swing passes to receivers that were ruled 'laterals'. You call'em laterals - I call'em on balance throws that are catastrophic fumbles if they're not on the money. 33.
3: After a Greatest Performances Of All Time Short List day, consecutive do-or-die incompletions in SC's endzone.
But let's make mention right now....
11: Yards in pass from Matt Leinhart to Dwayne Jarrett pass that was, pound for pound, THE play of the day. It came a) on the first drive (ie: tone-setter) b) on fourth down c) on 4th-and-10 d) was caught by Jarrett who was instantly hit so hard, high and low, that he spun 180 degrees in the air and landed on his shoulders... and hung on. Drive alive, and 5 plays later, SC scored it's first TD.
The other tone-setter that didn't get much attention:
2: Yardline on which Cal had a first-and-goal in the third, and, in three snaps, went backwards five yards... until the refs whistled SC for a particularly soft pass interference, giving Cal first at the 2, which they then turned into a TD.
4-4: SC-Cal series in last 8 meetings.
18: USC's lead in first-place votes over OU, it's smallest of the season. I'm only surprised that OU didn't take over #1.
18: Consecutive Ohio State wins at home prior to losing 24-13 to Wisconsin.
48: Wisconsin yardline Ohio State failed to cross in the second half.
105,090: Attendence figure announced by Ohio State - fifth-largest in Stadium history! - in that school's bid to join Michigan and Tennessee in the fiction-writing business.
3: Overtime games for Northwestern this year in which QB Brett Basanez has performed flawlessly, including Saturday's 31-24 win over Indiana. Basanez picked up a 4th-and-6 in the OT, and was 28-of-48 for 254 yards and a touchdown on the day. Last week, the Cats beat Ohio State, and Basanez did everything necessary to beat TCU in the season-opener, only to watch his kicker miss an extra-point to lose.
It's a banner year for gutty Qbs - sort of like last year and receivers - but Basanez is right there.
2: Consecutive years that NU has beat IU in OT.
5: Sacks against UGA's David Green by Tennessee.
4: Sacks UGA had given up all season prior.
12: Penalties committed by UGA.
82: Officially, the yardage UGA was penalized.
93: Yards in a late-game UGA kick-off return, to UT's 2 yardline, wiped out by a holding penalty (officially recorded as only a 10-yard penalty).
2: Number of UGA drives that went more than 5 plays prior to falling behind 19-7 in the 4th.
27: Combined plays in UGA's last two do-or-die drives, separated only by a 3-and-out for UT.
6: Combined 4th downs and 3rd downs of 10 or more faced in those final two drives, including a 4th-and-goal touchdown run by Dante Ware where he literally bounced off a would-be tackler to get into the endzone and pull UGA to 19-14.
9: Spots UGA dropped in the polls.
14: difference, in seconds, in time of possession between Texas Tech and Nebraska, .
60:difference, in points.
43: Yardline on which Nebraska went for it on a 4th-and-3 in the second quarter. And they threw it, incomplete. But even that horrible idea - going for it on the 43? Passing? - wasn't the trigger. NU got it back 4 plays later on an interception.
No, here's your Money Maker:
7: Number of snaps Nebraska took in a 7 minute span in the late third/early fourth.
5: Turnovers in those 7 plays.
4: Of those 5, turnovers in it's own redzone.
2: Inside it's own 10.
35: TT points off those turnovers.
1: Rank, in Quotes of the weekend, for Nebraska offensive coordinator Jay Norvell ``We lost a game that we had a chance to win. . . I can't make anything more of it than that.''
Coming up:
Louisville at Miami on Thursday (if it was at Louisville, we might be in a for a show, but at Miami...); North Carolina AT Utah; Notre Dame-Navy. Unbeaten and rolling UVA at damn-near-lost-to-Syracuse Florida State; UCLA at Cal... beware the letdown.

Stanford Game

Stanford Game –
It was 2 weeks ago, but SC hasn’t played since, so my thoughts:
I loved it.
I can tell you honestly that not at a single moment was I worried. Trailing 31-17 at the half, I WOULD have been worried if Stanford had come out and planted another 7. THAT would have made me nervous.
But I felt at the half there were strange things afoot that couldn’t possibly hold up for another 30 minutes. Consider: Stanford came in prepared, astronomically motivated and – let’s give them credit – relatively well-armed. That wasn’t Indiana out there. The QB, Trent Edwards, is clearly a terrific leader, and the rest of that team could have trounced any SC team of the 90s, Keyshawn-era excepted. If you give a team like that a reason to play hard, they’re liable to get loose. And talk about reasons… let’s see: in-state/in-conference and the only private schools in the league, which – take my word for it – means something. And all that’s true every year, which this wasn’t – this year, SC’s #1 ranking would have been, by far, enough motivation for any team, but Edwards and the rest had spent the year hearing how SC’s only real test was going to be – yuck – Cal.
All that, at home.
I don’t know what the line was, but anything more than 6 would have been ignorance.
I write off both of the first 2 Tds, and part of the 3rd to all that. Edwards came out firing, the O-line and the entire defense (the knees that SC usually takes out first in opponents) sold out on every play and suddenly Stanford had 14. On their third real drive, they started to run out of steam and, sensing this, Stanford’s obviously switched-on coach called a fake field goal.
Which went for a TD.
Honestly, how often does that work out so well? Once a season?
So now they had a 21-17 lead and got the ball back with less than a minute left. Smartly, the coach told them to run into the line and take it to the locker room. His team had just played as well as they possibly could against a groggy SC. And to show for it, he had a 4-point lead. Better than losing, but not much.
“Get to the locker room,” you could hear him thinking, “Then I’ll think of something.”
And to get there, he sent his fullback on a dive into the line… from which he emerged and went untouched 70 yards to the endzone. The clock expired while he was 30 yards out.
Like they said in Mean Girls, “Shut. Up.”
How often does something like THAT happen? Once a decade?
I was a little shocked, but then I smiled. Cuz if you add it up, in a span of four minutes, Stanford had just cashed in 11 years of good luck. And it had bought them less than a two-score lead. And now they had to make it stand up for 30 minutes against the best 2nd-half team in the country.
I liked our chances.
What I didn’t expect – and which makes me almost detestably smug about our chances with Cal – was the level of Hurt SC came back with after halftime. Pure savagery. By the fourth quarter, Edwards and the rest of his offense was visibly dreading each snap.
At the half, I thought – on momentum and emotion - Stanford had, maybe, 10 more points left in them. In their first three drives after the half, they gained a total of 8 yards.
On their final drive, at that point trailing, they strung together a few passes for 20 or so, but Edwards never saw a single one, clobbered by the Wave. SC hit every ball carrier high and low, knocked blockers to their elbows and clipped receivers in the sternum. It’s been a while since I’ve seen any defense punish an offense like that. Well, actually, Miami does it Florida State pretty regularly, and Oklahoma can, too. But it’s not often.
The score was close – which Stanford wholly earned – but SC took two knees inside the Stanford 15 to finish the game.
Again Reggie Bush stole the show with a playstation punt return where he ran about 150 yards for a 40 yard return, but as ever, it was the defense and Leinhart.
By the way, Leinhart - upstaged not just by Bush but by the drama of Edwards effort - only threw for 308 yards. Yawn. Just another lazy day minding the switch.
So SC was challenged about as stiffly as Stanford’s collection of talent could challenge them – atmosphere, momentum, preperation, want-to and (perhaps most important) outrageous luck.
And SC rolled them up like the rebels on Hoth.
As for Cal, I am wholly out of the prediction business, but that game was – as ol’ Darth put it – “impressive.”

As I sit here typing this, Clemson and Virginia are throwing Thursday Punches. Every time I turn around, somebody is going for 30 yards and then getting knocked out of their cleats. Clemson just went for it on 4th down in the 1st quarter. Get some.

Friday Night Lights

Do me a personal favor: Don't go see Friday Night Lights, the move version of the book of the same name, until I give the go ahead. I can't think of another movie that could possibly ever be made that I'd ask for such veto power (one about Pararescue training, maybe), but on this one, I'm asking.

Here's why I'm the expert: Within .03 milliseconds of seeing the movie poster for the first time (or actually, seeing a TV ad depicting the scene the poster is taken from ) I knew the players were wearing the wrong numbers. ("wrong," from this point forward, meaing "different from the book").
Now, I admit I know this just by coincidence - the actual book jacket shows the backs of three players, the right two of which are wearing 85 and 62 - which was (and still is) the final four numbers of my parent's phone number in Colorado, a number I've known longer than I've known my own SSN, so it kinda leapt out at me.
But the point is, I've read, re-read, studied and devoured that book so many times over, there isn't a detail you can bring up I don't know. In many ways, it remains the defining book of my personal adult life - after staying up all night as a college freshman to read it, it sent me spinning professionally towards sports writing, politically away from strict conservative points of view and physically towards Philadelphia.
And I have been dreading for 15 years the day this book became a movie. Now they've done it. But I demand first-refusal.

And I promise to be fair - as long as they don't give it the Perfect Storm treatment - inventing comic action at the expense of the book's best passages - I'll give you the go ahead. I don't need The Football Godfather. I just want a respectful translation. I don't expect a Hollywood studio - with stars and a budget and not a single high school athlete on its crew - to copy the exact dialogue of the book, to convey 80 years of segregation, to properly capture the weight of the Midland Lee game. Or make a sweep for a gain of 2 look unrehearsed. Or even get the extras to have a decent Texas accent. I'm resigned to a solid helping of fat-guy cliches (you know, the smiling, jackass fat kid choked up to talk to the pretty girl, or something). I know absolutely nobody's "we win!" face is going to look anything like a real "we win!" face

Damn - I said it. Now I gotta have a quick rant: along with Hollywood soldiers' everlasting inability to properly salute, the industry's consistent failure to produce a decent "we win" face remains one of the great mysteries of film. Hollywood's Joyful Response research facilities being sabotaged by Norwegian commandos like they Nazi's heavy water plant? The "we win" faces of Varsity Blues showed no advancement in the art over Reagan's in Knute Rockne All American. Will the next star wars have painted tincans on strings with sparklers for engines? So why can't Hollywood capture a decent "Wide Right!" reaction?
And here's the worst part: nobody throws one arm in the air and goes, "Yeah!" with eyes straight ahead. Nobody even does that watching a game on TV. Nobody does that watching Jeopardy. People in the stands of a real game they are emotionally invested in CERTAINLY don't. There's nothing controlled about the reaction to a dramatic, one-play win. It's focused panic. Arms go wide, or at least uplifted, and eyes and faces dart in a million directions because there's a better-than-25-percent chance that you're about to fall over. Remember one of those Brett Favre wins where, watching the final kick from the sideline, he came sprinting onto the field with his arms out in the airplane, his face dripping with fear? That's "we win." More often than not, a crowd lunges forward. Where do you think the storm-the-field/court thing comes from? People can't help it. You just have to get closer, arms wide to embrace it. WE WIN!
Basicly, the "we win!" face is not much different from the "holy shit, tear gas!" face. It certainly isn't the "Winger Rocks!" face, which is the only thing Hollywood ever gives us.

End Rant. but I'll be watching.

So FNL has been relentlessly promoted not on its own merit but on the fact that Sports Illustrated once called FNL "one of the greatest sports stories ever told" which is deceptive on two fronts.
1 - SI wouldn't know a great sports story unless it showed up on it's writer's expense account.
2 - The story was so good for reasons that absolutely defy movie making - the story was good because it was about race, class, anticipation, pacing, a great deal of luck and - in no small part - because HG Bissinger is an obscenely talented reporter and writer.
None of those things translate well - or at all - to film. Certainly not to a film released in the middle of football season.
Consider this: it takes FNL 50 pages to walk the team - and hence, the transfixed reader - through the collision of worlds that occured surrounding the Dallas-Carter football team in 1988. Keep in mind, the book is 'about' Odessa's Permian high school, not Carter. But as Odessa made its run at state that year, on the other side of the bracket, Carter, an all black school, beat an all-white team (Plano East) in the playoffs. It then emerged that at least two of Carter's players had been passed in classes they clearly flunked when a principal changed thier grades, over the objections of a 20-year career English teacher who thought football players get too many breaks.
So Plano East, losers on the field, then sued, claiming Carter was ineligible, got an injunction and - if i recall correctly - actually played the next playoff game, and won. Carter then counter-sued, got a second injunction and was back in the playoffs instead of Plano East.
The racial (and suburb-vs-city class) overtones of the battle were lost on exactly no one, particularly not on 300-miles from nowhere, overwhelmingly white Odessa.
This all really happened. It's easily the book's best (and, for Bissinger, luckiest) parts. Bissinger brings in decades old school-reform efforts, Ross Perot taking on the football barrons over eligibility rules, and the ever-present spectre of segregation.
And it all got sorted out just in time for Carter to meet Odessa in the state semis.
(emphasis 'semis' - i've read two reviews so far which state the movie puts the showdown in the state finals, though that could easily be a reviewer's mistake).

Now, I went to the trouble of laying all that out so that you can ask yourself: how is that going to translate into a movie? Have some newscaster take the screen and give you a quick synopsis of it, then cut to the Carter-Odessa sideline?
That would be a disservice I could't tolerate.
It's a 2-hour movie. They can give 5 minutes to a microcosm of Texas - and hence, american - educational reform before getting back to the AC/DC soundtrack.

The same is true of the book's other 'big game' the showdown with hated rival Midland Lee. Midland, as in, George Dubya's Midland. The Have Town to Odessa's Have Not.
In a year - 88 - when a Bush was running for re-election.
The structure of the collision - Odessa vs Midland, have vs have-not, oilmen vs redneck, capital vs labor - is probably the closest thing the book has to a thesis.
Is that worth 10 minutes of backstory?

Probably not.
What the movie is likely to be about - fairly - is the five or six characters on the team that dominate the book. Or rather, 5 players and the coach, played by Billy Bob Thorton. And they certainly fit Hollywood - the black star running back who blows a knee, the white punk running back with the bad dad, the white QB with a confidence problem, the spanish tight end bound for Harvard, and the coach, a good man under unbearable pressure and the shadow of his mythic predeccesor.
That sounds like a great football movie, particularly with the two big games. I see great possibility for a James Horner soundtrack.
No reason in the world why you have to drag my book into it.
But they did.
And since they did, they had better pay the rest of it - or rather, the real parts of it - the proper respect.

So let me go see it, and i'll let you know.