X is for, err...uhh....Xylophone??

It's a tough one, X. You've basicly got energy drinks, late night workout tape and fat burners, Bill Gates' video game, all-wheel drive on an Infiniti and the fattest, laziest, too-much-too-soon generation ever.
Yuck.

Just kill me

In College Football, X is wholly owned by Florida State, home to"athletic" "running" "mistake-prone" quarterback Xavier Lee, Wide Righter Xavier Bietta and incoming freshman Xavier Duncan.

Not a lot to work with.

And then it hit us: why not use the bitchin'est slay-music-belching, P-magnet instrument ever, the 11th century's answer to the piano, the kick-through the cinderblocks axe-chords of the Xylophone.

YEAHH!!!! Get PUMPED UP!!!! ITS GAMEDAY, GAMEDAY BABY!!!!!
GET PUUUUUUUMMMMMPPPPED!!!!!!

Wow. From greatest pre-game/tunnel run/max bench song ever to me peeing pants watching that video 10 times in a row. THUN-DAH!

Not sure where to go from there. So here's an evil robot from South Carolina...



and a fabulously pimple-faced science fair enthusiast who will probably save us all from the robots after he goes to Michigan:

Video Embed Disabled - Click-thru for video

And just for fun, two more fight songs on fabulously unacceptable instraments:


USC



Georgia Tech

The Strange Judgement Index

5: "Minor" NCAA violations committed in last month by new head coaches whose previous college ooaching job was as USC O-Coordinators (Lane Kiffin 3, Steve Sarkasian 2)

17: Years in Kirk Ferentz contracted Iowa career - 10 to date, 7 in new contract extension signed last week.
12: Ferentz Games-over-.500 to date.
6: Ferentz game-over-.500 against Big 10
3-9: Ferentz vs Michigan and Ohio State
5-5: Ferentz vs Wisconsin
3: Finishes in Top 20 - 8, 8, 20
7: Ferentz bowl games
5: Bowls In Florida
0: Pasadena

2: Consecutive years in which MIchigan's starting quarterback has transfered - Ryan Mallet in 08, and Steven Threet this week.
2, 9: National Rank of those two players among QBs in the 2007 high school class (#1: Jimmy Clausen, 8-6 as a starter at ND)
97: Yards in TD pass thrown by Mallet to Mario Manningham in 2007, longest in MIchigan history, unquestionably the highlight moment of the Mallet-Threet Era.
3: Minimum number of schools Threet will have attended, having transferred to Michigan from Georgia Tech.

F is for Fight Songs

The Index has examined Fight Songs in the past, including in this post a few years back. And if you've ever thought, "somebody should make a site with all the big school's fights songs,
someone did.

And now, a Girls Singing Fight Songs Countdown:

5 - Ohio State. Everything about this video is a delight, especially the defiant can-do clapping from Maddie, The Gutsy Brunette Who's Not Afraid To Run With Big Blondy. She spent $249 at the salon this week and was up at 4am this morning so the water would be hot before the rest of the house got up, cuz it's gameday in Columbus, Big-B, and you best believe Maddie came to play.


4 - North Carolina. UNC has the best fight song in America that never makes any "Best Fight Songs" lists, performed here by the OMG Best-Semester-Abroad-EVER! Quints. And note the veteran anticipation that Blue Shorts shows by dropping her wallet just a beat before Da Bounce kicks in. Heady! They don't skate to the puck in Chapel Hill, they skate to where the puck is gonna be!



3 - Michigan. It's actually way harder than you'd suspect to find YouTube videos of college girls singing fight songs, but much easier than you'd believe to find videos of babies and children doing so. So I picked the funniest one.
Also: Even babies hate Michigan.




2 - Texas. I'm not sure I get it - what does this clip buy you that Walter Cronkite doesn't?

(Might as well tell you: if you click through, there's a full HD version)

1 - Notre Dame. "In the rugged mountains of Western Mexico?" This clip must be the greatest college-spirit-in-remote-locations pull since Earnest Shackleford taped his EA Sports cameo on Elephant Island - "EA Sports - if its in a 14-day trip across open Antarctic ocean in a life boat including through a hurricane that sank a 500-ton steamer the same night, it's in the game!"