Friday, January 23, 2009

I is for Ito, as in "I'm Jeremy Ito, and You're 8-and-1"

From The Index

What's your favorite Thursday Night upset?

Like no other night, the winds of upsets howl on Thursday. This is college so nobody goes to class on Fridays, and even those who do won't be going THIS Friday because ESPN is in town (HERE! In Chippewa Falls!! ESPN!!!!) and the whole damn country is watching.

Of course, they're watching to see the other guys, Program U, who rushed for a billion yards against Tech last week, and whose secondary can tackle UV-rays and whose showdown with Factory State is only 3 weeks off. They're here to check the box marked "Us".

But what they don't know is that tonight they are alone out here, and the weather is cold and raining and hot and humid and windy and snowing, which is PERFECT for our offense. And there's only 100 or so of them and they're wearing white and there's 70,000 of us, and they just drove 80 miles through towns and farms and freeways and they were lined with our banners and our signs and our fans on top of their campers, and we're wearing blood-soaked red and death-posse black and glowing-royal blue and that crazy shade of green that only we make look tough, and when they trot on the field a little tight and a little scared, that's the tell that they've realized too late that the Thursday wind is howling, and they are in its teeth.

So what's your favorite Thursday upset? Florida State-UVa? Nebraska-Arizona State? Maryland-Northern Illinois? Missouri-Troy? USC-Oregon State?

I'll take Rutgers 28, Louisville 25, 2006, the worst football program of all time lying in wait for the newest, slickest, high tech football machine of the decade, completed with
florida-bred receivers and a 4th-year QB robot Brian Brohm. TO the fight Rutgers brought a fat coach, a gayish hook-line (chopping wood?), a deleriously unheralded quarterback, undersized runners and a defense that was down 21 in the first quarter.

Game highlights:

But there were signs of hope: as Rutger's D chipped away at the LV legs, Ray Rice pounded on LV's fast but skinny Dline and QB Mike Teel played with the kind of panicked ingenuity that began to remind some of Michael J Fox on a skateboard.

As the final minute wound down, Rutgers had the game tied when up stepped Jeremy Ito, from the fabulously unRutgers hometown of Loma Linda, California (inland empire what what!), for a game-winning 33yarder...

Which he SHANKED!

Flag. Offsides LV. Spent against Rutgers' will, LV gave up a fatal mistake.

Back came Ito, visibly grinning at his shank and possibly high.

When he hit it he knew it was good, so sure in fact, that he didn't watch the ball go through. Instead he stomped away from the line, spotted ESPN's fancy FieldCam, raised one finger in the air and put himself in college football's image cannon for eternity.

From The Index

From The Index
From The Index

Have Some.
Love, The Judge

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