Thursday, February 19, 2009

S is for Stanford and the SEC. The other ones

As Sheen said to Biehn, "T
rust me with your life but not your money or your wife," and there's indeed no one I'd more gladly hand over the keys to my terrestrial days and nights than Sir Allen Stanford, Brigand Lord of The West Indi es!

Sir Stanford, before the fall.

Equally, there's no one I'd trus t less with anything I actually owned or held dear, as the SEC (subpeonas-and-jail-SEC, not beer-and-sundresses-SEC) is currently discovering, though apparently they could have just asked the English national cricket team.

Here's Uncle Allen with their WAGs (wives and girlfriends, one of them pregnant), as the players toiled below on both Uncle Allen's dime and private Antigua cricket field. Better still, the game in question is the finals of the Stanford 20/20 tournament last November, in which the "Stanford Super
sta rs" of Caribbean players beat the English team in a game for a $20 mi llion purse, which is approxi mately 458 zillion shilling-crumpets.

So his team beat them for $20 mil, made a mockery of their sport and generally played Good-to-be-The-King with their wives.

UPDATE: This came after Stanford announced the match by showing up at Lord's field in London in a helicopter, carrying a briefcase of American cash.

But once a Brigand Lord of the West Indies finds his taste for sponsored ladies, he soon aspires beyond churched-up cricket groupies.

And so it caem to be that Stanford Financial became the corporate sponsor of the cheerleading teams of the beer-and-sundresses-SEC's two most celebrated bella ambiente universitarios, LSU.... (check out the 'dismount' of the Tiger Cage, a minute or so in)

and Ole Miss, where the pool parties don't quit.

Sir Allen Stanford, Brigand Lord of the West Indies, most certainly not a descendent of Leland Stanford Jr., ne'er-do-well of SEC cheerleading pool parties and owner of a glorious P-bandit mustache, The Index salutes you!

"I said to my English colleagues that these Texan chaps are a bit different from the average person in Tunbridge Wells, Kent."

- Simon Dyson, executive chairman of the Cricket Foundation

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